"...What if I said I love you?", Collins blurts out to Linda while he is out with her on one of their just-a-friend lunches at the office. Linda stares plainly and emotionlessly at Collins wondering why he is speaking in such manner. She pauses for about five minutes as the air hangs still above them waiting for the bomb or confetti drop response from her lips.
"Hmmm," she begins. "Collins..."
"Yeah, yeah", Collins answers excitedly, hoping she is about to say something that would gladden his heart. Something in the radar of 'i love you too' but he is about to be shell-shocked with her unexpected response.
"....Collins", she begins again hoping for no other interruption as she puts forth her response to Collins' emotional position. "I like you. Honestly I like you but I can't...I can't love you...I don't love you. Maybe in a different life or a different time, I will give someone like you, a chance to have my heart but right now, in this particular life and time, there can be nothing of such between us. You are just like a brother....you are my best friend and I would not want to jeopardize this with an emotion as heavy as love. Like I said, maybe in another life or time, it could be possible but right now, it cannot. As a matter of fact, this has ruined my mood for this lunch. I am sorry but I must leave now. We you back in the office and by the way, thanks for having lunch with me."
Gulping up her glass of juice in a hurry, spilling a little of it on her white dress, she scurries off into her car with so much haste, one would imagine something other than Collins' question is chasing her off perhaps a ghost.
Indeed, something more than just the question chases her, the ghosts of her past relationships. Having had her fair share or rather unfair share of heartbreaks and awful relationship, she is now extra careful to a paranoic, PTSD state preventing her from giving her heart to Collins.
She hurries back to her office desk from the cafeteria, panting like a deer chased by a group of hungry lions and searching for a water source to save its life. There is restlessness all over her. Her desk, she had several times complained was unnecessarily large and spacious for her, suddenly seems quite impossible to contain her. Forty minutes. It takes her forty minutes to get back into her usual self. All of sudden, as if waiting for her to collect herself, so that he can disorganize her again, Collins walks up to her desk quite leisurely with the aim of having one of their usual chats with her but unfortunately, what he gets is a far cry from what he bargained for.
"Get away from me, you pervert of a human being," she lashes out on Collins to the astonishment of Collins and the other people in the office. "You think I don't know that all you are after is the pleasure you would gain from getting in between my life and once that is done, you'll avoid me like a damaged road. Well, Newsflash, I am onto you and you see from this moment onwards, I do not want to see you anyway around me. If you want to give me something as regards your work in this office, you do so through someone else because I am done with this embarrassing behavior of yours."
"C'mon, Linda....", Collins tries to give a response but is cut by Linda.
"Arrrghhh," she groans as she walks away. "You're pathetic. Get away from me."
She hurries to the Ladies Room, the only place she imagines she can get away from him and not have him all up in her face with his pathetic proposal. Running some water into her palm and unto her face, she stares at the mirror for about two minutes before walking into one of the stalls to pass some waste. When she is done, she flushes the toilet and stepping out again, she walks towards one of the washbowl; and looking into the mirror, she exhales a heavy gust of air, annoyed by the dawning reality that she would have to go back into the office where her "bestfriend-turned-stalker" probably awaits her return anxiously.
Surely, upon her arrival back into the office, Collins is right there but seated at his desk busily punching at his desk-top. She is relieved and happy to see that she would no longer have to those corny speeches from him professing how much his heart has grown so accustomed to her company and would like them to take things up a notch, seeing that he has returned to doing what he is being paid to do, which is work without distractions.
A few hours later, the day is over to the joy of everyone at the office. She is surprised when after waiting for over thirty minutes for Collins to walk her to her car as was his custom as a friend of hers but she is shocked when she spots the last person leaving the office without a sign of Collins anywhere around.
"Excuse me," she calls out to Beatrice, the Chief Financial Officer in the office as she walks out of her office with the master key-card in her hand rearing to leave. The decision to have her keep the key was unanimously agreed to at one of the Annual General Meetings, having observed she usually arrived the office first and is always the last to leave as a result of the workload of her position as Chief Finance Officer.
"Ms. Danica," Beatrice calls out, surprised to see Linda is yet in the office while she is about to lock down the office for the day. "You have not left yet?"
"No," Linda replies frantically. "Have you seen Collins? We usually walk out to our cars together at the end of the day."
"Yes, I saw him drive out just some few minutes ago," Ms. Danica says. "In fact, I was..."
"....thank you, thank you," Linda says agitatedly as she picks up the keys to her Toyota LandCruiser Prado SUV Limited Edition and heads down the lift for the car, leaving Danica bewildered and speechless.
She fumbles through her bunch of keys, as she arrives her car door, trying to find the one that opens the door, forgetting that the lock is also remote controlled. A few minutes of fiddling, she finally finds the key. Inserting it into the car, she turns it twice unlocking all the doors. Jumping into the car like a lunatic, she starts it up and speeds out of the parking lot and into the expressway, heading for Collins' house. A thousand and one accident scenarios could have been made possible as she drives uncaring of other road users to Collins' place but somehow she manages to get to Collins' house in one piece. But Collins has not arrived his house yet as he had branched off at a spot familiar to both of them to drink away the embarrassment she had caused him earlier in the day.
Realizing this, she jumps into.her car and speeds off in a flash to the spot, praying within herself that she finds him there. Surely enough, her guess is right. Screeching to a stop as soon as she drives in, she leaves the engine running and hurries into the restaurant bar where she finds Collins speaking with the bartender incoherently.
She takes a deep breath and walks up to Collins,
"C'mon, Collins," she yells in disappointment.and pity. "You cannot tell me you are doing this because I turned you down."
"Who are you?", he screams intoxicatedly. "Please leave me alone so that I can drown my worries and sorrows".
"I am your friend and I would not let you do this to yourself," she says to him concernedly and turning to the bartender, she requests assistance. "Please can you help me get him to my car."
When she and the bartender successfully get him to the passenger seat of her car, she reclines the seat so that he can rest properly as she drives him home, towing his car behind hers.
Linda looks at Collins as he is carelessly seated in the front passenger seat of her vehicle and she cannot help but pray that he has not damaged some part of his system with his heavy, stuporous drinking. As expected, she is shocked when all of a sudden, Collins throws up in between his legs in her vehicle without a warning. Linda is so frustrated and annoyed by this but finds she can do nothing at the moment but just squirms her face, punches her steering wheel a few times and groan a little as Collins is currently unaware of any of the actions he is taking.
Getting to the gate of the house, she realizes she does not have his keys but suddenly, she imagines the key may be in any of the compartments of his vehicle's interior. Putting hers in park, she steps out of the car and walks towards Collins' being towed behind hers while he rests peacefully, unaware of what is going on around him. Pulling the vehicle door open, she climbs into it to enable her properly search Collins' car for his key but what she expects to be a quiet entry that would see her taking Collins into his apartment quietly and calmly, turns out to be an overly exhilarating and harrowing event. These two fellows are walking by the house casually. Spotting Linda, they consider her easy prey and peradventure she has company in any of cars, they come welding knives to have any and every aggressor stabbed to death in cold blood but she would be everything but an easy prey for them, a juice of violence bottled in beauty, a perfect definition of "Looks can be deceiving". Putting on their ski masks before turning back, in a bid to protect their identity while attacking Linda, they rush at her aggressively.
It is no fair challenge but they could careless. How would she, a defenseless and weaponless young lady saddled with a heavily drunk man protect herself and the man? It would be such a piece of cake to dispossess the drunken man and herself of all belongings with their weaponry advantage.
Unfazed by this however, she decides she would not chicken out and let herself be pushed over and dispossessed of the cars, all other belongings and maybe even their lives in the process.
"Hey, pretty," Williams, one of the marauders, catcalls her as he steps towards her direction alongside Alvin, his accomplice. "What's a pretty lady like you doing out here this late in the night all alone. It's quite a big risk, y'know?"
"Can I help you?", Linda asks, petrified at the menacing looks and horrifying countenance of the attackers.
"Why yes," Williams, the duo leader answers in a scathel manner while checking her out. "We want everything you have with you here, including the two cars and hmm, we want that too."
"Excuse you," Linda says surprised at the audacity of the two marauders as she smacks William's hand off her waist. "And what makes you think I would give any of the things you mentioned or rudely touched."
"Well, who will stop us?", Williams whispers in her ears tauntingly as he touches both her shoulders with his two hands as if about to begin a massage. "You?"
"Touch me one more time and I promise you...."
"...uh, you promise me what?...A fun time."
"....I promise you that will be the last thing you will ever do with your hands, in fact, with your life."
"Wow," Williams says mockingly clapping. "Ain't that amazing? What exactly could you possibly do to Williams that would take away the use of my hands or my life as you say. In fact, you have made me very mad by such statement and I must now teach you a lesson you would never forget for the rest of your life?"
"Alvin, take her, " he orders his accomplice. "We feast on her right now and once we are done, we take the cars and all that is in them for ourselves."
"Will do, Will," Alvin says braggartly, resolving to please Williams who seems to be his role model judging from how submissively he jumps at the order and how authoritatively the order was given.
Unfortunately for Alvin, it is no easy task and perhaps Williams has seen it coming hence he let Alvin go for it. Alvin, proceeding to snatch Linda is met by a rude, aggressive and unsavoury smack across the face as soon as his hands make contact with her body, which is accompanied by a knee-jab in the groin and an elbow crashing into his back, sending him into unconsciousness.
Williams, blinded by avarice and perversion, disregards the fact that his accomplice is now lain on the floor, unconscious and decides within himself that no matter what, he must get all what he has come for. Charging at her, even he cannot explain how he keeps cushioning her punches, jabs, kicks and slams in different parts of his body without even landing even one but for the one cheap cut on her chin he managed to make while getting his ass handed to him despite his advantage of a weapon over her. She beats him silly, almost to death as well. Having finished "handling" them both, Linda walks towards Collins' car to get the key to the house. Picking it from the compartment beside the gearshift of the car, she is surprised when she turns around to head towards the gate but sees Williams standing right before her, with a bloody nose and a countenance that oozed frustration and unforgiveness, ready to pounce on her like a hungry dog on a bone.
She shuts her eyes for a second and smiles,
"Oh, you're still alive," Linda says. "Your friend over there doesn't look so good. Don't you think it will be a good idea to take him to the hospital right now before he gives up the ghost?"
"I am not leaving here until I have enjoyed myself with you and taken these two cars away with me?"
"You don't say," Linda says as she folds her hands in surprise as to how crazy it looks to her that a man would be willing to go through so much pain just to get what he wants, something that is not his in the first instance.
"I do say," Williams says as he moves closer to Linda while unzipping his pants. "Now, get into the car this minute."
"Alright, Alright," Linda says, feigning cooperation as she gets into the back of the car. "There's no need to be aggressive. I am all yours."
"Good. Now, op...".
With a knee to his nuts, she begins his trip to a painful end. Pushing him out of the car with her legs, he comes flying out and lands with one of his hands to his back, causing it to break instantly.
Her heart beating faster and sweat running down her face like a bottle of melting ice, she walks over to where Williams is helplessly lain writhing in severe pain. Standing over him, she stares him straight in the eyes before squatting and taking the knife he once used to threaten her, she carefully and slowly detaches Williams' penis while he watches helplessly, writhing and groaning in unbearable agony. When she is done with the castration and seeing how much pain he is going through, she decides to do a mercy-killing.
"Uhh," she begins mockingly. "Are you in pain? Ohh, does it hurt...?"
"... I'll get you for this....," he says painfully. "Even...if it...is the last...thing I do. Trust me on that."
"Oh but as you can see, this threat is the last thing you would do," Linda says as she raises the knife and with one fell swoop takes a fatal jab at Williams' throat, killing him instantly while she drops his harvested organ on his body.
Driving in Collins' vehicle, she takes him into his house so that he can rest properly, imagining he must be very drunk, seeing he lay like a lifeless man through the whole ruckus with the gang of marauders.
Having driven in Collins' car and dropped his keys by his bedside, she recalls the fact that the dead men are just on the road outside the gate. Realizing that it would be unsanitary, gory and a great disservice to Collins and his neighbors to leave the bodies of the men lying in the streets as lifeless as they are, Linda rushes to the men and dragging their lifeless bodies like a sack of sand, she tosses them one after the other into the booth of her vehicle. Starting her engine, she drives to a very secluded river, River Dzerdok and without wasting another moment to think about it, she attaches two bricks with some chains she had seen on her way to the river and tossing them both into the river, it drags them both into the river, decapitating one of them, Williams to be precise, in the process which causes her to puke on the head in disgust before kicking it like a football into the river to join its body under the river.
"Finally", Linda thinks to herself, as she uses her right hand to clean off the water that splashed on her face when she kicked the head into the river. "It is done."
Walking backwards for a few steps, as if afraid that either of them might come out alive, she then turns 180° to face her vehicle. Running to it, as fast as possible, she pulls it open hastily and jumps inside. Pulling out of the area, she speeds over to Collins' house to confirm he is yet asleep and safe before running off to hers.
But the headache is not over just yet. Coming upon a checkpoint but her instincts would not let her slow down as she steps on the gas. Sensing an evasive offender, an officer seated in the police cruiser parked by the side of the road drives into the road in a bid to stop Linda's escape but instead loses the front bumper of the vehicle as Linda zooms past him. He radios the incident, marking her wanted by the police for that singular act.
Getting home, completely fatigued, she begins to feel guilty of the double murder she has just committed some few hours ago. Beginning with fear, she suddenly graduates into denial and finally into a maniacal laughter.
"Oh no. Did I just kill two men?", she asks rhetorically and panicky. "No, I just killed two rapists and murderers. Who knows what they would have done to Collins and I if I had not dealt with them both the way I did. You deserve a medal, Linda." She is indeed now pleased with the fact that the marauders are now dead. Getting a bottle of wine from her in-house bar, she pours herself glasses of wine, one after the other, to celebrate the victory, until she sleeps off.
The morning arrives rather speedily-the red morning sun does not make much impact to Linda's sleep as her orange painted wall blend with the rays.
However, the worst that could happen to one who has not slept an hour for the whole night befalls Linda. Successive raps are heard at her door send her jerking out of her sleep so suddenly. She keeps still however, hoping that the person, whoever it may be, would grow weary of waiting for her to get her tired self off the rug where she had slept and all the way to the door and return to wherever he or she had come from but this does not happen.
The unruly raps at her door forces her to her feet. Angrily and tiredly marching to the door, she wrestles to unlock the door, turning the key in the keyhole vigorously, almost breaking it.
"What do you want...?" she yells as she drags the door open before she gets a chance to take a look and process who is at the door. "....Oh, Collins... It's... it's you... I'm sorry... Please come in."
"Is everything okay?", Collins asks as he walks into the sitting room with a concerned look on his face. "I had been to the office today and I was told you were not in yet....Wow...Have you been drinking?"
"No...", she says, falling onto Collins' lower arm.
"...but you reek of alcohol, Linda", replies Collins.
"... alright, alright, you got me", she admits. "Can you just...not scream at me...I beg you. My head is pounding."
Immediately, she throws up on Collins who is trying to hold her body as her legs are still very wobbly from the drinks she consumed earlier. But Collins does not react negatively but simply takes off the suit he has on and leads her towards her kitchen. Sitting her down on the counter, he pours some water over her face but this doesn't help the hangover one bit. Turning to Google for a remedy to the hangover, he searches "Homemade remedies for hangover", a concoction comes up on the screen and without wasting another second, he rushes to prepare it, unwilling to subject himself to the assignment of giving her a bath on account of the drunken state.
It takes Collins a little less than two minutes to prepare the hangover drink. Ready, he serves it to her. Unimpressed by the first sip she takes, Linda places it aside unwilling to go further with the drink but Collins insists she must take it and moreso finish it to the last drop.
"C'mon, Linda. You really need to suck it up and finish this drink," Collins advises softly. "It's the only way you can stop this nauseousness you are feeling and regain yourself please."
"But it's disgusting..."
"You're right...," Collins replies in agreement. "...but so is vomiting every now and then. That's even stressful as well for people around you so please c'mon take this so that you can get over this hangover. One gulp after the other and before you know it, it is over".
"Please don't make me do this," Linda pleads as she takes the cup to her lips slowly turning it to fill her mouth with its content. She stops after filling her mouth with the first gulp.
"Yes....yes", Collins says, cheering her on. "Another one, you are almost there. One or two more gulps...I mean depending on the size of your mouth...and you will feel as good as new."
"Hmmm", she sighs with frustration as she prepares to take the next gulp.
"You don't want me to give you a bath," Collins says unwilling to subject himself to torturous temptation of bathing Linda.
"Oh, please", she says after swallowing the second gulp with disgust on her face. "By all means. If it would mean I would need to take this disgusting thing, please give me a bath."
"I would do no such thing," Collins objects almost angrily. "Take this thing so you can go bath yourself and we can both go to work, please before they begin asking questions and looking for us both, please."
"No need to yell," Linda says with a weary voice. "Alright I will take it."
"Good for you...," comes Collins' reply.
"Good for us, you mean", she says with a coy smile that turns to a grimace once the drink enters her mouth. She quickly swallows it. "So if I didn't drink it, you would just leave me and return to the office?"
"Of course, I would," he replies. "We are just co-workers. It's not like I am obligated to be here. It's only a matter of courtesy."
Right then, Collins' phone starts ringing.
"Who's that?" Linda asks.
"It's Terrence from the office," Collins says before hitting the answer icon on his phone screen. "Hi, Terrence."
"I thought you said you wanted to pick Linda to the office?", Terrence asks. "It's been almost two hours. Why are you both not back here yet?"
"Man, it's a long story."
"I hope you both are not over there doing something unofficial...," Terrence says laughing suspectingly. "...you know what I mean."
"No, Terrence", Collins says almost pissed at the fact that Terrence would think of him in such manner. "I do not know what you mean? I'm on my way to the office. Bye."
Linda is slowly recovering from the hangover as a result of the concoction Collins had given her earlier as she lifts herself off the chair slowly, walks towards Collins and whispers into his ears. "I shall now go to take the bath you have always wanted me to take." Collins squirms his face at the foul breath coming from Linda's mouth that reeks of a mixture of stale morning breath, alcohol and the concoction, a disastrous combination. She walks away to the bathroom and Collins walks himself out of the house and into his car and zooms off. Hearing Collins' car zooming off, she rushes out of the bathroom into the sitting stark naked like a little child.
Disappointed, she goes back to bathroom to have her bath resolving within herself to give Collins a piece of her mind for what she terms 'gross act of flat-out disregard for her person'.
In thirty minutes, Linda is done with her bath but all the while she had been in the bathroom, her phone had been ringing non-stop. Done with bathing now, she heads to the bedside table, where she had placed her phone before she had gone for a shower, to find out the identity of her persistent caller(s). She is amazed when she sees it is all from different people from the office, three from each totaling nine missed calls. While she is trying to wrap her head around why they all are so desperate to reach her. Another call comes in from Collins.
"Hi, Collins", she says frantically as she hits the 'accept' icon on her screen. "You just left like that."
"I'm sorry," he begins. "I didn't think you would need me anymore. I had given you the remedy for your hangover. Hadn't I?"
"Yes but..."
"But what?", Collins explodes. "What more do you want from me? My life?"
"C'mon Collins," Linda says surprised at his tone. "Don't talk like that."
"Don't talk like that," Collins mimicks. "Listen, like I said I have given you the remedy for your hangover. If you like, come to work. If you prefer, stay home. I could care less."
"Collins...", he hangs the phone on her.
She is surprised at why he is now so uptight to her. She considers his attitude towards her as unfair and uncalled for. Hurriedly getting dressed, she picks up her car keys, rushes out of the house and into her vehicle. She is eager to understand why all of sudden, a fellow who once treated her so nicely, it almost seemed like he worshipped her, has become so hostile towards her. Adrenaline speeds through her like a Ferrari on an empty street. She speeds through traffic as skillfully as possible, narrowly missing death's sickle at different points.
She practises the speech she would give to Collins when she arrives the office, hoping he would not be afforded the opportunity to evade her while she gives it. Arriving the office, she eases her SUV into the car park. Successfully done, she locks the car and makes her way into the building.
As if on cue, Collins, upon seeing her enter the office, quickly goes into his and shuts the door behind him to the astonishment of the other members of staff in the office.
"Is something wrong?", Linda throws the question to her fellow staff as she wonders why Collins would walk away into his office and shut the door as soon as she arrives.
"Relax," Terrence says as he stands up to go find out the reason for Collins' behaviour. "I'm sure it's nothing serious. Let me go see what's up with him."
"Don't worry," Linda says as she walks towards Collins' office. "I think I would handle him myself."
She walks her way to his office door briskly, knocks the door and waits for a response.
"Go away please," comes Collins' response.
"I need to talk to you, plea...," Linda pleads while the rest of the office watches, wondering what could be so important to discuss and the reason for Collins' current behaviour.
"...well, I don't want to talk to you," Collins replies. "Please go and do what you are being paid to do and quit this pathetic behaviour of yours..."
"...Collins..."
"...that is what you called it... isn't it?", Collins says in frustration. "People are trying to work here, please. If you are not ready to do yours yet, you can go home. Nobody will hold it against you but please don't come constituting a nuisance here and disturbing the peace this office needs to do its work."
"Collins", Linda calls out, shocked at the hostility of the conversation but realizes she may need to back away and let him cool off a bit. "I understand you are vexed at me and I will not blame you so I will just back away and let you cool down because this is certainly not you."
She returns to her office, drops to her chair like a sack of millet, perplexed and unable to do anything but think about how exactly she can fix whatever the issue is with Collins. The day drags slowly to a close with Collins acting out a script of a movie where she never existed.
"Goodnight, Angela,' Collins says as the office closes for the day. He goes around bidding everyone a good night while deliberately ignoring Linda. "Goodnight, Terrence,man.... Goodnight, Harry... Goodnight Sandra..."
"Goodnight," Angela replies.
"Goodnight, bro," Terrence replies. "Take it easy."
"C'mon you know I always do," Collins says to Terrence with a smile fielding a handshake.
"Goodnight, Collins," Sandra replies softly.
Collins bids everyone goodnight including all six of the security men just before he opens the door of his vehicle.
"Goodnight, Collins," comes a voice from a vehicle parked just two cars after his. He turns and is about to respond but reneges on the idea when he sees it is Linda.
"Good...", he immediately stops himself and jumps into his car and backs out of his parking spot but as he is about to head for the gate, he stops the car and rolling down his window causing Linda to smile, only to give her a contemptuous look to her greatest consternation before driving off.
The malice continues for weeks. Linda, unable to take it anymore, one day drives over to Collins' place to pay him a visit.
"Collins....", she yells blaring her horn as soon as she drives up to Collins' gate. Collins is shocked to hear the horn blaring outside his gate.
"Hey," he screams at Linda from the balcony on the 1st floor of his one-storey apartment. "What are you doing here?"
"We need to talk," she says looking up at him while squinting.
"Well, I do not want to talk to you so please get away."
"I'm not leaving here until we talk about this sudden change in your attitude to you," Linda says as she sits herself up on the bonnet of her vehicle. "I want you to tell me the origin of this aggression and where that sweet Collins I once knew went to."
"I think you already know where you drove him to," Collins says. "Infact, there can be nothing between. I refuse to be a guard leading a queen to her king."
"Oh," she says, suddenly realizing where Collins' aggression towards her stems from. "Is that what this is all about?"
"Of course, it is what it is all about," Collins says, astonished at the fact that she does not see it reason enough. "What else did you think it could be."
"Re...," she attempts to continue the discussion as she comes down from the bonnet of her car but sees it unnecessary. Without as much as another word, she opens the driver's seat door and takes one disappointed look at Collins before climbing into the vehicle. Starting up her engine, she backs away angrily hitting the throttle which sends the car into a speedy reverse away from Collins' gate and with one swing, she angrily zooms off.
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